i love her soo much

some people i would die for

some people i would die with

somw people i would die without

and some ppl i would never be whole agian when they left

some people i love so much

theres not a part of me they dont touch

some people i need so bad

when theyre away from me im so sad

i love her

she said she loved me

but when it came to dieing

she left me

just resently my best friend, my lover, and my sister atempted suicide

the day of i ran to her house, 3 miles, just to make sure she was okay i had one of my bad pycic feelings i wanted to save her but not long after i left she atempted suicide i loved her i loved her so much she was my first love my first real love i never felt somwthing like that before and i couldnt stop her i miss her so bad now right now shes in thhe hospital and io cant even tlk to her cuz her dads being an ass

Love

LOVE

Can kill an man

Can cure any illness

Its bitter in the end

In the beginning its sweetened

Its nice before you look twice

and when you look agian

its not a good freind

We need it

We want it

We cant live without it

Trust me! I would know all about it

But it kills us inside

When it runs and hides

Its something we can provide

but not to ourselves

We need someone else

un productive

wow you know whats REALLY sad? when you run out of things to do on facebook and uve been sitting so long ur but goes numb. wow ive had a vry unproductive day

IM IN LOVE!??!?!?!?!?!

wtf why didnt i see this comeing?
i get a freakin awsome bf and dont expect to fall in love but what happens i do! wf im so mad at myself i hought i built a wall that wold keep me from falling in love i thought it cold stand jacob but it cant. you wanna know the sad part? i knew it was going to happen the moment i me him. that little thing whent off in my head "hay zarah you gonna fall in love with this guy. and guess what? it'll suk cuz you'll end up getting hurt in the end"  cuz i know im gonna end p getting hurt i always do and this guy ook down all my defences all of them even the back up so if he ends up stabbing me in the heart it will hut 100000000000X worse it wont just be like :'( it will be like D': with tons of tears and everything
 its really scary i dont wanna fall in love i really dont want to! how do i handle this? i cant dump him cuz that will hurt me and im trying not to be in love with him bu he makes it so fucking hard cuz 1 he's nice 2 he's sexy 3 he's taller then me and thats hard to find at my age 4 he has this way that always pulls me to him 5 every time i even think of him i smile he makes me smile he makes me so happy yet so scared
i love him but i dont wanna love him... what if he doesnt love me? what if im the only one in this realashonship with anything more than sex in mind/ no he's not like that he may have a big dick but he's not a dick
i hope he feels the same way otherwise it will drive me crazy

party like a f***ing rcokstar

lol so yesterday i got stoned it was fucking harlaryous special since i cont remember much all i can really remember is the everting was in like 3d and i couldnt tell when i was awake or dreaming cuz everything felt lik a dream it was so funny. but theres like only one downside to me getting stoned... i cant remeber shit. not just from last night but from like a week ago i dont even know the last time i got layed. i cant even rember going to school its so fucking trippy! so ya i paartyed like a rock star like twice this week and niw i cant remeber shit but i do remeber that i promised my bf id stop smokeing... look how that turned out. im probibly the last person you should belive when i say "im gonna stop doing drugs" cuz i cant help it when the oprotunity shows itself i have to take it. im one of those ppl who dont take things for granted when somethings there and i want it ill tke it and when i want something i get it wheather you like it or not lol

im gonna die

im gonna die im gonna die Jacob just told me that his mom found one of the condom wrappers and hasn't said anything! does that mean shes mad? does hat mean she thinks im a whore? im scared she'll never let me see him again omg i swear when he told me my heart stopped from fear i swear im gonna die!

HORNY MUCH?

4-20 is national stoner day but guess what i was doing on national stoner day... not geting high thats what. i was so unhappy yesterday all i did was sleep i wanted sooo bad to get stoned but oh well tomarrow i get to get stoned with my bf and have agressive drug sex with him lol he's never seen my high and he'll never want to forget it. but funny enough i dont need to be high to be horny around him he knows exactly how to get me in bed lol adn when he does... OMFG it is amazing we've only had sex twice but when we do DAMN it is hot and sweaty last time he did it so hard my vag hurts lol